This mornings devotion, from Acts 26, was on Paul and being content. I’m encouraged, but I know that my encouragement may bother some as it is contrary to their desires or beliefs. However, I hope it serves as a tool to get you to where I believe God has for us.
Contentment and a changed heart. Contentment is very hard. I would not say that I am satisfied or content with my muscles. I continue to workout, though there is a realization that it is a long road ahead and I don’t have time to be in the gym everyday. But there is one thing I am content in that many struggle so bad with, on a gut wrenching level, that might seem very strange to you. I am content with same-sex attraction.
I am actually really good with it. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that I have same-sex attractions. I must say that I was already comfortable with this well before last year, but it was last year’s Exodus split and Alan Chambers being so open and me being challenged, that caused me to be publicly open about it. I wrote and spoke publicly about being a former homosexual and spoke privately about and even some publicly but I had not written about it. That was a big move to me, to basically bare my whole life to the world. After I did it, I got so many letters of appreciation. Now, I’m so thankful I did. The reality is that its really no big deal. Non of my godly hetero guy friends have gotten past their struggles and temptations of looking at women, why should I be any different with men? And, the guys I might look at, my hetero friends look at too. I can choose to stop at admiration like my hetero friends do. I don’t have to lust after them. This doesn’t bother me in the least. I wrote a blog a while back that you could find that I spoke about being thankful for this struggle.
What encouraged me even more was Paul speaking on his road to Damascus. I could totally relate. I’ve always kind of thrown that away because I haven’t experienced deliverance, like bam its gone but I was in a sense. I could see myself on that road. I was changed in an instant, it wasn’t my attractions though but it was absolutely was my heart. I am so excited to be able to proclaim Jesus to all those that I encounter, because I did meet Him that day.